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Couch Night. July 22, 2010

Posted by schlanghole in relationship.
Tags: , , ,

Today is Thursday and every Thursday night at my house is Couch Night. My night. One evening a week devoted to just me and my interests.

Couch Night happens in the den of my basement and starts typically as soon as I get home. It’s fairly ritualistic but the activities vary depending on what I want to accomplish. Some nights I am consumed with social media and catch up on what’s going on in everyones lives, engaging in conversations via Twitter/Facebook. Other nights I will write a blog post or even catch up on some work. Some weeks it’s reading a good book, while others I might catch up on all the trade news. Still other Thursdays you might find me researching recent archeological news or scouring antiquity dealer sites. And sometimes, I’m not going to lie, I’m not productive at all and watch a couple baseball games online or veg in front of the TV.

I always take my dinner on the couch and will munch on my favorite snacks and drink a beer or two throughout the evening eventually crashing on the couch after my wife has long gone to bed. If you know my wife, you would call me crazy. She’s freaking HOT and I get asked all the time, “Why would you want to fall asleep once a week on an old couch when you could instead fall asleep next to her!” It’s really not about her. It’s more about my alone time. I need it. I have to have it. It’s therapeutic. I’ve always cherished it and look forward to it each week. I “negotiated” Couch Night very early in our relationship (back when we were living in sin). I wouldn’t say that she looks forward to it as much as I do but, she tolerates it and I know, deep down, she understands where I’m coming from. She supports it as she has consistently supported everything I do (well, almost everything :^).

There are those who spend every possible moment with their significant other and I don’t doubt they are equally as happy as I am. But I am built differently and without my Couch Night, my alone time, I fall behind on my interests. And I like to think my interests make me more interesting not just to others but also to my wife and ultimately to myself.



1. wendie - July 22, 2010

I admire you both. I agree. You know what makes you tick AND more interesting and interestED. I’ve got some good friends who do the same. Although, they have a guest room. Every week they get an alone night. Same time, same place. They both honor the system and therefore, each other.

2. Stina M. F. - July 22, 2010

I love this! Everyone needs a day of respite, even married couples.

schlanghole - July 22, 2010

I might even say “especially” married couples :^)

3. Jason H - July 23, 2010

I have my own version of “couch night”. We just call it a “night off”. It’s not regularly scheduled, but can be cashed in whenever the need arises.

Jess didn’t like them at first, but I think she has grown to enjoy them every bit as much as I do. I can veg out with a video game and she can go in the bedroom and watch “trash” (reality TV). It is totally a win/win for everyone. When we reconvene everyone is refreshed and eager to see each other.

Bravo for your figuring out the same thing. :)

4. Candace Sweigart - July 23, 2010

I love the concept of couch night. What I love most about it is that you understand your needs and you’ve negotiated them in your relationship. And your partner is loving and supportive. Craig and I are the weird exception to the rule of needing scheduled time apart. It was hard to find someone that I couldn’t “smother” and who wanted to be spending time with me 24×7. But reading your post reminds me that even us crazies (me) need some time to ourselves every now and then. Thank you for sharing and for giving me permission for “me time”. I need to make myself have it sometimes.

Love your blog…keep up the posts :)

5. Jake Schlangen - July 26, 2010

Uncle Tony this is inspirational! Before I get married, I’m going to talk to my “better half” about having my very own “couch night”!

6. Jennifer Gonzalez - August 26, 2010

I value and respect people who have relationships like you and Tanya. Just two people who honestly like and respect each other. I am amazed how many people end up together who clearly aren’t even friends, and therefore can’t compromise on something like “couch night” or anything else.

More couples should get a reality check–thanks for keeping it real.

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